That's What Today Was Like.

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with everything around you?  Have you felt so powerless, like you had no control over anything, that your whole world was changing and you could do nothing about it?

That's what today was like.

Have you ever been in one of those moods where you didn't know what you wanted?  You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or cry, eat or sleep, lay around doing nothing or go out and have fun?  You didn't want to be alone, but you didn't want anyone there either.

That's what today was like.

Have you ever felt so discontent that you were temped to take a benadryl or two so that you could sleep for two days straight without having to think about anything whatsoever?

That's what today was like.

But then, once you were feeling all these things at once and thought that you could never see the bright side of things again did you have amazing friends come to your rescue?

Today I did.

Today I thought everything was downhill from here, that I would never get out of this depressed slump.  Everything seemed to be weighing down on me and against me, but then God stepped in.  I wasn't feeling like talking to anyone at all and just wanted to sleep, when I felt this urgent need to call my best friend, Lauren.  She told me two really amazing things.  The first is that she reminded me of how much closer I have gotten to God over the past six months.  (This was when I became a Wyld Life leader, meaning that my job is to do whatever it takes to bring middle school kids face to face with the big J.C....Jesus Christ.)  She, of course, was completely right.  I have gotten a lot closer to God and I love it.  But that was the last thing on my mind at this point in our conversation.  The second thing she told me is the most amazing part of the story.  She told me that she thinks over the past six months God has been preparing me to be able to take on this challenge.  She said that he had this (the cancer) planned all along, and was bringing me closer to him so that I will have the strength it takes to make it through this battle.  She also said that without him I wouldn't be able to make it through this which is completely and totally true.  This morning when I was reading my bible I read John 6:37 which says, "All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away."  God knew that I would need to lean on him, and he helped me build my faith in him over the past six months so that I would be able to take on this challenge...with his help.  He knew that I would need him during this hardship.  He is not driving me away, he is making my faith grow stronger than ever before.

Have you ever heard of the saying, "If you brings you to it, he'll get you through it?"

Lauren and me, best friends since kindergarten. 

Well, that's what today was like.

The Beginning

My mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.  It has already been a tough battle, and I know it will continue to be one.  However, I do know what the good Lord, Jesus Christ, is capable of and what he can do.  This blog is all about my journey as a college student away from home through my mother's recovery process and my walk in faith.  I will tell the ups and downs, all about the laughter and the tears, but also about the powerful messages that I am and will be learning through this battle.  Not all days are going to be good days, but like my mom says, "Life isn't over.  It's just slowing down for a bit."